The Long-Awaited Birth Story

**I reserve the right to be wrong on any or all details. While I felt immense clarity, I’m sure some things actually occurred in a different way than illustrated here. Nonetheless, this is a work of non-fiction…

I had every intention of working right up until I went into labor. I just couldn’t spare time off before Fi arrived. With 3 kids, I need every second of sick time, vacation time, etc. But on Thursday morning, August 19 (5 days past my due date), I’d had enough. I was sick with a head full of snot and pressure, and I couldn’t behave through one more “You’re STILL here?” asked by another well-meaning but highly annoying co-worker. So I wrapped up a couple of things and high-tailed it out of work that Thursday morning.

As soon as I left my building, headed for my car, I felt the most immense sense of relief wash over me. Apparently, the constant threat of gushing amniotic fluid, gushing urine (due to coughing, sneezing, laughing, or just, you know, breathing), and all the other worries that were floating around in my over-taxed brain were just too much to handle. Once I left work behind me and decided to relax, it was brilliant and amazing. So amazing, that the next night around 6 I started having contractions. Nothing that made me stop in my tracks, but there were there, noticeable, and consistent. They started on the way home from getting the kids and Brian insisted that I start timing them.

I busted out my trusty app and started timing them. They weren’t super strong, but they were coming every 7-9 minutes or so and lasting for 30 seconds to a minute. I gave Tammy (my amazing doula – hit her up if you’re in need of some awesome birth support) a call to let her know the status. She told me she’d be on standby and to call her if anything changed. Around 8, things got a bit stronger, but still manageable. I gave my mom a call but wanted to leave it up to her when she’d come. She had agreed to be there for Bri and Eli so they could attend Fiona’s birth. They were prepared for it and so excited, and I really wanted them to be a part of it. I told my mom that even if Fiona wasn’t born that night, she would be that weekend. I just knew this was it. She hopped in the car and headed down. (Thank God!)

I called Tammy again and told her my mom was heading down and she thought it best to head over “just in case”. Again, Thank God! She got there around 10 and we all kind of sat in different corners of the room, staring at each other in the silliest way. My uterus seemed to feel a spotlight on her and got a case of stage fright. Things seemed to stop the instant everyone was there. To my distinct horror. Tammy suggested we all hit the hay and just see what happened.

About 10 minutes later, after settling into bed, the hardest contraction of the night hit me. It was several degrees stronger than all previous contractions and holy shit on a stick, I had to sit up for that one. Got on all fours and had to hee hee hee hooooooooo through it and everything. Tammy must have some serious 6th sense going on, because she was by my side moments later (she had been camping in the living room until I needed her).

Working hard at home - Brian couldn't actually feel the pain, contrary to his face. I think that was a reaction to the flash!

He's so supportive!

I proceeded notably into active labor. The contractions just kept coming harder and faster. I remember wondering aloud when we would be going to the hospital. Tammy said, “When something happens.” It became very clear what that something would be at 12:30 am when my water gushed out all over the blanket I was kneeling on. What an odd, uncontrollable feeling of pressure and then holy SHIT more pressure. Fiona’s head was suddenly VERY apparent and bam, I was in transition. I was yelling and moaning and hee hee hooooooooAHHHHHHing as Brian called our midwife, Sharon. She apparently asked how I was, and was answered by my wailing, to which she replied simply, “I’m on my way.”

It was time to go. Like, IMMEDIATELY. I was freaking out a bit, with all the pressure down down DOWN. The relief between contractions was 90 seconds at the absolute most, and when they hit, I’d go down on all fours until it passed. In the brief moments between contractions, I was hurriedly throwing items into bags and rushing out the door. Tammy got in the backseat with me. I was on all fours still, in the small backseat of our VW Rabbit, with Brian manning the controls. I was doing everything I could to keep Fiona INSIDE my body on that 15 minute infinitely long drive to the hospital.

When we finally arrived, Tammy expertly gave instructions to Brian, who ran in the ER doors and shouted what was going on. Some harried nurse met us at the doors with a wheelchair, mumbling about how “ER nurses really hate this….”. I couldn’t help thinking, “OH YOU hate this, huh?”…I would find out later than in Brian’s haste to get his on-the-verge-of-childbirth wife into the hospital, he left our car running with the doors wide open in front of the ER. Definitely a highlight of the night.

We got to the delivery room and I got up onto the table. They wanted to put a monitor on my stomach to check the baby. Fine, whatever, I hate you all! They asked if I wanted to put on a hospital gown. No, do I have to? Thank jesus, because I couldn’t do it. No, leave me alone, oh my god, OUUUUUUCCCCHHHHHH. In no time at all, they had removed the monitor and I was laying back letting Sharon check me. I was dilated to oh, 9.5 cm I think? I had fully dilated in like 3 hours. Pretty awesome. Sharon told me I could start pushing whenever I had the urge. The problem was, I was suddenly terrified. Terrified of what I was feeling, which was EVERYTHING. I could feel absolutely everything and I wasn’t at all sure that my body could do this. Forget the fact that it HAD done it, TWICE before. But holy hell, never had my body felt this much. I had a brief moment of utter terror and I tried to jam my legs closed, stubbornly insisting on keeping that baby inside. She, of course, had other plans and kept inching her way down down down.

Soon enough, the panic faded and she was much closer to the opening. By that point, I felt that there was more than I could DO, that her birth was imminent, and clearly, my crazy self wasn’t going to be stopping a thing from happening. I put all my focus down through my body to help that sweet baby out. I yelled a LOT and was told later that Eli covered his ears and said “IT’S TOO LOUD” and Bri just sat there a bit shaken and speechless.

And then she was out. I think I really pushed hard about 4 times. And she was there. I was no longer pregnant. She was really seriously THERE, on my stomach, in all her slimy, beautiful glory. And the laughing, oh I was so happy and so immediately in love, and I couldn’t stop laughing and loving her delicious purple self.

Perfection and pure joy

I heard cries of amazement from the kids, laughter from them too, relief to see and know that their mommy was ok and that their baby sister was finally here. I was just beside myself. I had done it! No epidural. No narcotics. I was barely even in the hospital for 15 minutes and she was born!

They're in love from the start

My mom, there for the kids!

My amazing midwife, Sharon

I still sit and daydream about the experience. I never thought I’d be able to do that about childbirth, of all things, but I do. I get tears in my eyes at the wonder of the whole experience and how amazing it was. And I could not have done it without all the support I had, from my absolutely wonderful husband, my mom who was there to support my children (who will never EVER forget the experience), Tammy, my doula and now life long friend, and my midwife, Sharon, who let me and my body and my baby do what they are meant to do. I can’t thank any of these people enough – I’m just so grateful. And this is what we have to show for all our hard work!

Now, this is what my band of hooligans looks like. God, I love them to pieces.